Chapter 1- Tips From A Grand Father To His Grownup Grand Children- Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Life Must Have a Goal

A poem written by noted lyricist Mr. Javed Akhtar and used for an advertisement of a ball pen translates to something as given below:

If you have a dream, you have a goal;

If you have a goal, it must be some distance away,

If it is some distance away, there must be a path to it,

If there is a path, there must be thorns and obstacles on it,

If there are thorns and obstacles on the path, we have the determination to overcome it,

Because a fighter will always prevail.

I agree with all but the last line. I believe that success and failure is not always in our hand. A lot depends on our luck, destiny or the will of God. But if we do not have a goal, we cannot identify the path that can lead us there. If we do not know our destination, we can be lost. We can go round and round in circles for a hundred miles without getting anywhere and remain where we started. Life must have a goal and a purpose. We must know what we want to be.

Army teaches us to fix ultimate and interim goals. Ultimate goal is what we want to achieve at the end of our working life. A young officer joining the army may aspire to be a general. But before he can be a general, he has to do different courses, get good confidential reports and earn a number of promotions. These steps on the way to become a general are the interim goals.

One of my nephews had done a degree in commerce, a degree in information technology and a diploma in management. He was contemplating doing masters in information technology. I asked him why he want to do it. He said because it is the in thing and his parents wanted him to do it. I asked him if he enjoyed writing programs. He said no. I asked him what did he want? He said he wanted to get a good job. I told him to look for one. Soon he got a job to his liking and is well settled.

I have a niece who was a brilliant student. She got a job with Tata Consultancy Services and became an expert in information technology. She was often sent abroad for assignments and was extremely well paid. But she could not cope with the stress created by her job and had a mental breakdown. She had to leave her job and be at home and undergo psychiatric treatment. She has recovered, re-joined IT but takes up less taxing assignments. Maturing with age also helped.

I have come across many people, young and old, who do not seem to be very clear as to what they want out of life. Some are doing courses because their parents want them to be a doctor or engineer or an information technology professional. Some are doing courses because it seems to be the right thing to do or just because they are not sure as to what is the right thing to do. Very few are doing things they enjoy doing.

We cannot reach the goals of our life in one leap. We have to go through different steps or interim goals. If one wants to be a software engineer, one must pass class XII with mathematics. Passing Class XII with mathematics is an interim goal. Joining Indian Institute of Technology or some other renowned college could be the next interim goal. We have to work hard to achieve the interim goals which lead to our ultimate goals.

To set one’s goal one has to determine what he wants to be and what he likes to do. To do that one must understand what is most important to him. This can be done by asking oneself some questions.

What do I really value? One can value money, power, social service, ideological cause or peace and harmony. I know a kid in my neighbourhood whose sole aim in life is to make lots and lots of money. I have seen people give up lucrative careers to join politics or do social work or even become a priest. We read about suicide bombers and freedom fighters/terrorists who are ready to die for their cause.

Why do I value what I do? It is necessary to understand as to why one values what he does. Is it under influence of parents, peer groups, advertisements or our own nature? If we do not understand this what we value may be just a passing whim and we may regret the goal we set.

What is most important to me? To some it is money, to some it is power, to some it can be being able to enjoy what he is doing. To some the career is most important. To some the family is most important. To a freedom fighter, the cause is most important. To get what is most important one must be prepared to sacrifice other things.

What is it that gives me most pleasure? The answer to this question also helps us to understand whether the goal we have set is going to give us joy.

What do I most regret? The answer to this question gives you an understanding as to whether the goal you had set was appropriate and whether there is a need for change.

Once we know our destination, we must learn how to pursue what we value most. As a child and a young man my interests were in sports, arts, literature, history and geography. But I realized that pursuit of these interests may leave me without adequate income to gain happiness. I therefore followed my father’s instructions and became an engineer. However, since I was not keen on engineering, I joined the Army. I had a very happy time in the Army. There were challenges, which I loved. There were plenty of juniors who could be helped to grow. I had plenty of time to devote to my wife and children, to sleep in the afternoon, play games and pursue my hobbies. We never had much money or savings but we enjoyed life as best as we could, visiting places, driving around, dancing and partying. Then time came to hang up my boots. I needed money to remain happy and to fulfil my responsibilities. I joined the construction industry and became a civil engineer thirty years after I graduated.

Did I plan the path I followed? Not really. I knew what I wanted, “peace and happiness”. I knew that to get it I had to have enough money to meet my needs and enough leisure to pursue my hobbies and to help people grow. I got a few lucky breaks, which enabled me to earn the money I needed. I took breaks, which enabled me to pursue my interests. I knew what I wanted. I kept doors open for opportunities and took them when they came. I believe that is how it has to be. There are many roads to Rome. There are many paths to our destination. There are many crossroads on the paths. We must know what we want. We must pause at crossroads to decide what we do. A lot of pluck and a little luck will take us where we want to go.

If life must have a goal, we must learn to set it. What we want to be and what we want from life is one input. The other is an assessment of our strength, weakness, opportunities and threats. We should carry out a SWOT analysis.

First, let us look at our strengths. God has given some qualities and strengths to every person he has created. Some of us are handsome or beautiful. Some of us are very intelligent and good at studies. Some of us are good at games and sports and outdoor activities. Some are good speakers or orators and have knack of convincing people. Some have talent for singing or acting. We must understand our strengths and keep it mind for setting our goals.

Since we are human beings, we must also have our weaknesses. Some of us are not good looking. Some are poor at studies. Others are weak in the body or physically handicapped. In setting our goals, we must keep in mind our weaknesses. If you are weak in mathematics, you should not look for a career in science or engineering. If you cannot dissect a frog, you cannot be a doctor or a nurse. If you are not good at communicating and sensitive, you should not try for a career in sales. We must also try to overcome our weaknesses.

Life is full of opportunities but they are not available to all of us. Some parents have lots of money to educate their children, some parents are not so lucky. Some stay in cities with good education opportunities. Others live in rural areas where opportunities for higher education are non-existent. We must learn to leave doors open to allow opportunities to walk in.

Life is also full of threats. Lack or shortage of money is perhaps the biggest threat. Inability to compete is another. We must guard against these threats when we set our goals.

The analysis of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats should lead us not only to set goals, but also to prepare action plans to achieve them.

Ultimate and interim goals can and will change with the progress made in battles and changes in the circumstances of life. Some of the reasons for changing interim and final goals may be the following:

Change in Physical Condition. I know a young man who was keen on a career in the army. He met with an accident and became paralyzed below the waist. He had to change his goals. Some develop heart problems and have to look for less stressful occupation.

Change in Financial Conditions. I know a young man whose father was working with a multinational company. His father gave up his job, started his own business and lost all his money. They boy obviously had to go in for a career where cost of education was affordable.

Change in Mental Attitude or frustration. Mr. Ajit Jogi, Ex Chief Minister of Chhattisgarh gave up a career in the Indian Administrative Services to join politics. Mr. Bunker Roy gave up a career in the Indian Administrative Services to start an NGO.

Inability to Compete. I know a boy who wanted to do business management. He could not pass the entrance examination. He changed to mass communication and is happy as an assistant director making television serials.

Inability to Achieve Interim Goal. I know many friends in the Army who failed to get promotion to the rank of Colonel or Brigadier and left the Army to join the industry. He had to change his goal from becoming a general to becoming a successful company executive.

I did civil engineering. But my heart was not in engineering. I loved games and sports and an outdoor life. I joined the army. And even though I did not become a general, I enjoyed my 28 years in the army. I think I have achieved my goals in life.

For those who are young and have yet to set your goals, I recommend that you try to identify what you want to be and what you enjoy doing, identify your strengths and weaknesses and the opportunities and threats. Based on these inputs, set your ultimate and interim goals. Then work whole heartedly to achieve it.

If you are in middle life and not happy or satisfied with what you are and what you are doing, take the same inputs and reset your goals. Once that is done work to achieve them. May God be with you.

By Col (Retd) Bhaskar Sarkar VSM

We will teach you 12 chapters written by Col Bhaskar Sarkar in 12 different posts on Khabaratganj.com